The case of the lost yellow dress

Have you ever lost clothes and just can’t imagine where they might be? Sure everyone has occasionally left a top or shoes at a friend’s house. But whatever happened to that cute skirt you bought a few years ago or that cool designer hat from your fav vintage store. Some items just go missing and never make it back to your beloved collection of pretty clothes. Maybe the closet comes alive at night and deliberately hides your best outfits, or the washing machine just became designer clothing hungry? In my case, my downstairs neighbor felt the need to throw my NEVER worn cocktail dress, bought in NYC, in the dumpster. What a nightmare!

newgirlJess

You’re probably wondering why the hell my downstairs neighbor had my dress in the first place. No, I didn’t sleep over at his place or had a clothing swap party with the guy. No, I decided it was time to shake some dust out of my not frequently worn dresses and held my pretty yellow cocktail dress over the balcony. It had a clothing cover over it to protect it from any harm, but the damage was already done, the dress fell out of the cover. May I remind you that I live on the 5th floor in a building surrounded by water. Just when I thought the lake was the proud new owner a cocktail dress, I saw something yellow hanging out of my downstairs neighbor. Hallelujah, the dress was safe!

SeinfeldElaine

Source

When I rushed downstairs to get my precious back, my neighbor wasn’t home. So I left him a polite note, making sure he would know his new clothing item was mine and if he could please babysit it for the time being. No response for days. When I finally caught him in the hallway I asked him about the yellow dress. Oh yes he found it alright, he got home drunk and was surprised to see a dress hanging out of his window. He thought he might had picked it up from the street in his drunkenness, so he threw it away. And that garbage bag was long gone.

I looked it him with Bambi eyes and felt tears welling up, “you just threw a pretty, yellow cocktail dress in the trash?”, I asked him with a passive aggressive voice. “I’ve never even worn it, I bought it in NYC and was saving it for a special occasion, like my Oscars nomination party “, I almost whispered. Ok I didn’t say the last sentence, but this was definitely unacceptable. The nerve!  So I did the only thing that was right and punched him in the face, no I didn’t, but I did walk away very angry! Weird thoughts crossed my mind, what if he didn’t even threw it away, but was wearing my dress at night, while dancing to Beyonce’s Single Ladies? #draqqueen

draq
I still think about my yellow cocktail dress from time to time, it’s gone too soon! Sorry I’ve never worn you, hopefully you’ll make it to the Oscars one day! At least I still have a photograph of you in the fitting room. Goodbye.

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May all of your dresses be safe and sound!

Love,
Lina

 

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