My bf, friends, coworkers and basically everyone who has ever spoken to me, they all know… How much I dislike Justin Bieber. I’m sorry Beliebers, (gosh I even know the name of his fanbase, barf) but this little, blonde bimbo annoys the shit out of me. Yes I know he’s a guy, but c’mon he looks like Ellen Degeneres these days.
This hatred started 7 years ago, when I saw this little bowl cut kid singing and dancing around like a little girl. Don’t ask me why, but his stupid face starting annoying me when he was around 15 and his kiddo lullabies were making more money than I ever will. Don’t get me wrong, I give credit to whoever deserves it, even if they are 10 years younger and 10 figures richer than I am. But JB (yes I even know his acronym, double barf) has made some terribly annoying songs, my goldfishes make better sounds when they’re pooping. Plus it disgusts me that he refuses to meet his fans nowadays, because they ruin his pure and gentle soul, like c’mon. Without Beliebers, he would’t even have a career, or a soul for a matter of fact.
So far my JB rant, because the other day, my whole life turned upside down. We had drinks at work and I heard an awesome song come on someone’s playlist, that I haven’t heard before. So i did what every hip, 21st century woman with great taste in music does, I shazamed the unknown song. The name that popped up on my screen sent a chill down my spine and possibly caused internal bleeding. I had just shazamed A JUSTIN BIEBER song!! I just threw up in my mouth a little, just thinking about that moment again.
And you know what sucks even more, you can’t unshazam a song, ever. Especially not a JB song. That shit is like a horror movie ghost, you think it’s dead and gone, but it keeps on coming back to you, one way or another. It was too late. I wish there was a Shazam button that says: Shit, I made a mistake, do not save this song, I repeat do not save this song. Call Trauma Team! The dancer in me even made a whole choreography to this new found song and I caught myself singing the chorus with a full on emotional voice. Projectile barf! And the worst part? I’m even writing a blogpost about JB! I’m gonna jump of my balcony now.
What happened to me? I refuse to give JB credit for enjoying his new music, so I’ll pretend it’s not JB, but just another random R&B artist who sings that song. This way I can listen to and appreciate it with a clear conscious.
What happens at Shazam, stays at Shazam right 😉
Keep beliebing! (jinx)