It’s 8.30 pm, exactly 24 hours after Queen Bee landed her Bee-wings on Dutch grounds to enlighten us Dutchies with her angelic voice, powerful dance moves and almost godlike presence. And with us Dutchies, I mean us Dutchies who had concert tickets. Obviously I failed to get my hands on one of those puppies. Within an half hour or even sooner, every single ticket for Miss Yoncé was sold out and I was simply too late. I’ve been a Beyoncé fan since Destiny’s Child’s first single ‘No no no’ came out, but I never felt the urge of going to one of her concerts. But when she dropped the powerful ‘Formation’ and then the shockingly honest and utterly beautiful ‘Lemonade’, I got a sudden rush to see her live.
So I tried not to think about her concert for 5 months, until a few weeks ago. I did what any girl in need for some Yoncéness would do, I asked (begged) about anyone to go with me, because there were still some 2nd hand tickets left. Unfortunately my friends thought the tickets were too expensive, weren’t interested or were already going. When the concert date arrived, yesterday, I almost got a stroke for not having a ticket. I almost cried and begged my bf to pretty please take me to the Beyoncé concert. When he finally caved, it was already too late, the ticket prices were going through the roof and the seats were getting shittier by the minute. That’s when I decided to stop wining, poured myself a glass of wine, blasted the stereo with the whole Beyoncé discography and had an awesome pity (dance) party.
So to all my fellow Yoncé fans without lucky tickets, here’s 5 ways to get into the NEXT Beyoncé concert!
1. Lift some heavy stereo equipment, dress in black and put on some attitude. When you act like you’re part of Bee’s entourage, the real entourage just might believe you, because she has like a whole army of people around her, they don’t even know everyone in their squad. You just might be lucky enough to hold her sweaty microphone or one of her many weaves. Best night ever!
2. Buy yourself some GOOD HAIR and tell the security guards you’re Becky and that something’s about the go down tonight. Chances are the guards will guide you straight to Queen Bee, so you 2 can sit down and have a good talk. Bigger chances are, the guards will call the cops on your ass and you’ll be arrested right away.
3. Buy yourself a big tent, a sleepingbag and enough food. Put your Beyoncé playlist and matching outfit on and camp out (hide) in the stadium weeks before the concert begins. If the stadium is big enough, no one will find you and when the actual concert begins, you’ll have a comfy tent around you AND front row private seats. Happy camping!
4. Get a job at the stadium or concert hall where Miss Bee will be having her show. Sure you’ll be serving people food and drinks, while Yoncé is singing and dancing her ass off. But when there are no customers, you can totally sneak in the stadium and you’ll be at the Beyoncé concert for free. Hooray!
5. And most importantly and I can’t stress this enough: Buy your Queen Bee tickets ON TIME! Give your your Ipad to your little brother, your laptop to your father, gather everyone in the computer room at school, better yet, get all your Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat friends to log in to their computers and get those damn tickets when the ticketsale starts!
And when all the above fails, there’s always a next Beyoncé concert around the corner!