The girl with the evil cough

It started a long time ago, that uneasy feeling, like something’s gonna happen, you just don’t know when. It’s lurking around the corner, an unstoppable force. I’m not talking about global warming, no, I’m talking about my seasonal, horrible, inevitable cough. That’s right, a cough. But it’s not an innocent little tickle, no, my cough is pure evil!

phoebecoughing.gif

Source

Whenever I catch a cold, not only do I get the usual runny nose and voice like The Nanny, I also receive this cough from hell, for free. I sound like a  dozen seals on crack and sometimes I cough so hard, my ribs actually bruise and occasionally I also throw up. It gets so bad that during that time, I’m even afraid to leave the house, because I’m terrified I’ll have one of my Satanic cough attacks in public and people will think I’m actually dying or something.

Of course I’ve had doctors and hospitals run all tests possible to examine this weird syndrome, but nothing to be found. I was even on heavy medication for a while, those kill or cure kind of remedies, but nothing seems to tame this stupid, demonic cough. So if you can relate to my story, I have some cheer-you-uppers for handling this tribulation listed for you below.

4 Barking Like A Dog Benefits

– You’ll always have a seating available on the subway, because no one wants to sit next to a barking whale for 30 minutes straight.

subway.gif

Source

-Work will call you to stay at home, you don’t even have to call them. Your boss and coworkers don’t want to catch whatever weird disease you have going on. So now you can cough your lungs out in the comfy environment of your own house, watching Netflix all day. Hooray!

-You can drink as much tea with honey as you please, f*ck your no-sugar-diet, you need that sugar, sugar is your friend now! Also you can take as many hot baths as you want, because steam is good for attacking that cough. So steam away. Don’t look at this inconvenience as the enemy, but as some quality you time!

-You can play your music as loud as you like, your neighbors probably prefer listening to Beyoncé over you barking like a stray dog, right?

rupauldog.gif

So, if you’re suffering from the same weird cough as I’m right now, I hope I’ve made you smile a little, if not take your mind of it for a moment. And if you any pointers for battling this thing, please don’t be a stranger! 🙂

Stay healthy!

Love,
Lina

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s